Triggers

You can never know for sure when an event will trigger emotions or a memory; I've had two in two days. The first came when American Idol crowned their latest winner, Kris, a soft spoken humble man. This even made me wish that someday I'd have the stage moment, the Brett Favre disease, you know the one, where you can't get away from people chanting your name or standing and applauding when you do your job. I doubt my students will ever stand up and cheer when I enter a room. That moment made me wonder if it's necessary, the cheers, the accolades, to feel important, needed? My fear of success is greater than my fear of failure. Failure is a part of everyones life, success comes to fewer people. I'm upright and breathing, so I'm successful. This brings me to my second event, of all things, a TV show again, this time NCIS. This episode had Gibbs going back to his hometown where his father lives. During the episode he flashes back to his youth and at the end he hugs his father. My father has been dead now 31 years this July, I can't even remember his voice. It's funny how a TV show can make you sad when it has a happy ending. Some people don't like it when I say that he's been dead 31 years, they would prefer I say he's been gone. Gone implies he'll be back. I never said these would all be cheerful!